Thursday, September 18, 2008


As birthday present number 1, I present to you a pictoral display of words that make me think of you, my one true Booty/Buttplug/Brian/BriGuyFryGuyRiGuy...

Who would have thought that nine years ago, when you, the lanky closeted freakshow pervert, turned around in disgust at me, that Terri Schiavo faced loudmouthed pervert, a friendship of monumental faghaggatry proportions would develop? i sure as hell didn't.

And I think you know what I mean by monumental? Your dad. Your mom. Your dog. Would you rather? For a million dollars. BOOTY! BIRTHDAY!

Because I leave my current job in three days...

How did you get one of your scars?
Weird dark spotty scratch scars on my arms from when I was thrown onto asphault from a speeding golf cart...I still love you, Staciann.

How did you celebrate your last birthday?
I LOVE BIRTHDAYS, especially cause one of my dearest otter friends has the same birthday as mine. We went birthday dress shopping at Rosedale mall (blech, though I found the greatest dress ever), then to listen to Romantica (le sigh) and Heiruspecs (where I practically wet myself during War Drums) at an outdoor festival, then to snacks and drinks at Whiteys, then to dancing at The Front, then sleeping, then to a salad bar lunch with Twinkie where we told horribly inappropriate stories and had a grapes-fit-in-mouth contest, then to dinner at that mexican restaurant on nicollet that gives free giant margaritas on your birthday, then to trivia. And I still managed to be on time to work on Monday.

How are you feeling at this moment?
Anxious and pretty awesome

How did your night go last night?
I went to bed at 10:45 and slept through the night. Much needed rest. It was great.

How did you do in high school?
Well. I was the manager of the scholar bowl team AND a theatre nerd. And my parents both taught at the high school. I didn't have much of a choice but to work my (not) little a** off.

How did you get the shirt you're wearing?
It's a dress. And I got it in Barcelona. It feels like a nightgown, thus I love it. I just realized I'm wearing the exact same outfit I was wearing when I yaked in the airport on the way to Massuchusettes. Good times.

How often do you see ur best friends?
A couple times a year. Not enough.

How much money did you spend last month?
Not a ton, which makes me proud. Cause that month last year, known as "the jonesie dark period", I had royally screwed myself.

How old do you want to be when you get married?
Younger than 70 years old

How old will you be at your next birthday?


Your mothers name?

What did you do last weekend?
FINALLY watched Lars and the Real Girl, walked the pup, City on the Make at triple rock, helped Genna pick out furniture, got my watch fixed and bought my favorite Calvin Klein bra that was on super sale, went to a photo studio party, ate brunch at triple rock and got drunk off of one bloody mary, had my ass gloriously rocked by Balkan Beat Box at the Cedar.

What is the most important part of your life?
My people. And music.

What would you rather be doing?
Roadtripping to a Bruce show with the windows down and the tunes blaring

What did you last cry over?
My sister REALLY pissed me off but my mom had my back. Jonesie Family dynamics!

What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
My people. And music.

What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
A tight ass and a fat wallet. His dad.


He gets me. And makes me laugh.

What are you worried about?
Money. My camera. My grandpa.

What did you have for breakfast?
Coffee and granola

Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Oh puuuuuuuuuuuhlease b*tch, that's like my motus operatus. Don't worry, ladies. I never do anything about it. It's not really real anyway.

Have you ever had your heartbroken?
No...which I think is probably more depressing...

Have you ever been out of the country?
Canada, England, Greece, Turkey, France, Spain, Portugal. Barcelona was my favorite.

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
This week? I dropped my new phone in the toilet as I was flushing.

Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
Yes. And I still haven't forgavin her. Don't cross that line with me.

Have you ever had sex on the beach?
The drink? Yes. The thang? No. But both would be nice right now. Work is dull. My fantasies are not.

Have you ever dated someone older than you?
If you use the term "dated" verrrrrrrrrry loosely, then yes.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Yes. Pedal Pusher was a life saver when I came back from Missouri after my sister's wedding and dove into "Jonesie Meltdown" territory.


Who was the last person you saw?
My manager

Who was the last person you texted?

Who was the last person you hungout with?
Jess and Jen for our reality tv wednesday night chipotle extravaganza

Who was the last person to call you?
Shaly...the answer will most likely always be Shaly!

Who did you last hug?
Your dad's d*ck.

And Sampson the minpin I'm dogsitting for!

Who is the last person who texted you?
Genna...we'z gotz to get into seeing The Roots and Heiruspecs this weekend!

Who was the last person you said "i love you" to?
my mother


Where does your best friend live?
Kansas City, Missouri
Detroit, Michigan
NYC, New York

Where did you last go?
the bathroom

Where did you last hang out?
Jen's place for said extravaganza

Where do you go to school?
St. Olaf and National Theater Institute

Where is your favorite place to be?
At a really killer show

Where did you sleep last night?
I'm a glorified vagrant right now. I slept in Paul and Vanessa's bed while they're kicking it at a cabin in Northern California. Run by a guy named Dolphin. God, yes.


Do you like someone right now?
Yes. And more than just your dads.

Do you think anyone likes you?
I don't know.

Do you ever wish you were someone else?
Sometimes, yeah.

Do you know the muffin man?
"This muffin tastes like p*ssy." I miss you, Noah.

Does the future scare you?
Yes. And excites me.


Why are you best friends with your best friends?
Because they get me. And don't judge me. And unconditionally love me. And they make me laugh. And we talk for hours about everything and nothing.

Why did you get a myspace?
To keep in contact with all my out of state people, to keep up with touring bands, to f*ck cyberbots.

Why did your parents give you the name you have?
Mary because it was a tradition in my dad's foster family, Alexandra because it's Russian. I go by a shortened version my middle name and have my entire life (because my family wanted to keep the tradition but didn't want a daughter called Mary Jones. Thank you, family.) Don't call me Mary, unless you're Bruce Springsteen singing about screen doors slamming or calling me the Queen of Arkansas.

Why are you doing this survey?
Because I'm sticking it to the man and am crazy excited to go back to my old department at the U and out to lunch with my ChocoBono, Ian.


If you could have one super power what would it be??

If you could go back in time would you?
Yes...Mainpoint, Philly, September 1975.

If u were stranded on a deserted island & could bring 1 thing what would you bring?


Would you ever eat a spoon full of cinnamon?
Um, yes.

Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
Um, yes.


Are you happy with your life right now?
Yes. And even more happy about where I could go from here.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Why Obama?

My current facebook picture...

I wrote a letter to a high school classmate of mine, a man I haven't spoken to in almost ten years, who, as it turns out, did not want to ridicule and just wanted to pick my brain. Extremly glad he asked because it helped me to organize my thoughts...

His email:

Hey, just noticed your profile pic and that you had joined an obama volunteer group... it seems Obama and Biden have become a little discombobulated (I have no idea if that's a real word, but it works perfectly) in the last week or so, and the McCain camp seem to be keeping them on the defensive. What do you think Obama should do to get his balance back? What would you tell him if you were his advisor?

Just curious.


My response:

First and foremost, I'm not a political advisor and would never have any desire to become one. I'm a photographer, a writer and a temp worker at a University. It's just me and I work extremely hard in my day to day life to do what I love, stay afloat, stay healthy & be a good person. You probably do t0o. From my perspective, Obama and Biden have NOT become discombobulated (it is a real word.) They are just fighting back against the accusations/inconsistent proclamations/holier-than-thou archaic rhetoric and lies from the McCain/Palin show-pony camp. They remain consistent, representing the same positions, values and beliefs they have supported from the beginning. Maybe Obama and Biden are defensive, but when most of the current media coverage is about Palin, her life as a hockey mom, her ridiculous clich├ęs about lipstick wearing pitbulls, and her pregnant teenage daughter, then they have every right to passionately defend their policies and choices. Because THAT is what politics should be about and THAT is what serious media should cover. I watch reality television for ridiculously ludicrous entertainment; I don't need nor do I want that in my leaders.

For the first time in AT LEAST the past eight years, I see a potential leader for our country who represents strength, intelligence and character. You, by claiming to suck start a shotgun if Barack Hussein Obama is elected, obviously don't. You wanna know how I see it? If McCain/Palin is elected, I absolutely fear the path this country and our citizens could go down. So what? So, we go to war with Iran/Russia/etc as more civilians and soldiers die in Iraq? The economy continues to spiral out of control, gas prices continue to rise and we head into a deep depression? We become more and more polarized as citizens become more and more angry about the direction this nation is headed (I, as a Minneapolis/St. Paul resident, have seen this in the flesh as I worked my way through the crowded streets, packed concert venues and impassioned parades during the RNC, all while sick with a massive cold and dealing with the fact that my car was stolen from in front of my house)? I'm not saying Obama is perfect, that he will immediately fix this country that DOES need repair, but he has ideas, ideas that I believe in. Realistic ideas about the current state of our nation and EVERY person, in and outside of the United States. I for one would like to walk through foreign lands, with an exchange rate that isn't absolutely absurd, and hold my head high and proud (because I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard a foreigner say "if only we could vote in your election, Obama would be a guarantee"); go to the doctor when I sprain my ankle or go to the dentist when I have a toothache and not pay through the roof for JUST catastrophic even though I work up towards 60 hours a week (much of that work is my photography...more of that is my temp work...and I don't even mind when my tax money goes towards helping citizens when they need it...especially when taxes are fair and even and based on income); attend the weddings of my best friends who are gay, want to celebrate their love, and need legal support for their partners; protect my own body and have a choice should I ever need it; not see my (maybe) future children get drafted into another pointless war; etc. etc. etc. McCain represents more of the same, which is not working for this country, and Palin represents nothing except an "abstinence only" sex education program, which obviously worked extremely well for her family. I'm not scared of a black man with the middle name Hussein running our country; I would be HONORED to have him lead us.

Are you really just curious? If you sent me an email to start a friendly debate, fine and great. I can stand behind that. Before this, there was basically one topic that I felt comfortable talking about it with people I barely knew, and that topic was music, live and recorded. But in the past few years, because I have never felt stronger about a candidate, I HAVE gained the confidence to verbally and loudly show my support for Obama. It's difficult but I am slowly and surely gaining the self-confidence required to stand up and be proud of the person I am and strive to become, own my opinions and my beliefs about humanity, my future, the nation's future, the world's future. If you meant to somehow ridicule me, then this exchange is absolutely futile because we are both obviously passionate about our beliefs, and I am a strong person too.

In short, as a citizen of this country and a person that greatly looks up to Obama, I would tell him to forge on and continue to remain strong and consistent, because there is a million person army of everyday citizens who believe in the future of this country and thoroughly support him as our next president.