Tag, Bruce is it...for KARAOKE MADNESS!

TAG, I’m it.

I was tagged by my Doppleganger to complete the "Ten Things" list. And one should never say no to Sensei Doppleganger.

10 THINGS

The rules are: Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird random things, facts, or habits about yourself.

10) I was always a good, responsible student who did well in school. But…when I was in elementary school, I cheated on the MMAT (a statewide standardized test) by looking at Danny Sarver’s answers, whose desk was catty-cornered to mine. I felt guilty about this for a good 5 years after it happened and finally broke down sobbing while I was watching Sherlock Holmes & The Hound of the Baskerville’s with my mom. We went out to the deck, in the dark and I told her all my secrets. That was the first and last time it would happen.

9) A really good work friend of mine taught me how to sign the phrase “ejaculate inside.” When I directed “Baby With the Bathwater” last year at the Theatre Garage, I was able to work in that particular gesture and nobody knew unless they were familiar with ASL. Thus, it was my theatrically masterpiece.

8) Before Bruce, I was (mildly) obsessed with Buddy Holly. On my birthday in high school, I once sat in my dad’s truck for 45 minutes waiting for the Oldies station to play the song I called in for my request, “Maybe Baby.”

7) I was a REALLY shy child who never liked to receive much attention. Once, when my mom tried to read a poem that I had written over the phone to a relative, I bit her to make her stop.

6) I, as a fully functioning, sober teenager once stepped in my own shit.

5) I love to listen to music really loudly in my car and have personal concerts. If I’m moved at all and feeling a tad emotional, I will break down crying. SOBBING!!! I have had tears gushing from my eyes for Bruce Springsteen’s Thunder Road, Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah, Bruce Springsteen’s Growin’ Up, Dire Strait’s Brothers in Arms, Bright Eyes Landlocked Blues, Bruce Springsteen’s Trapped, Son Volt’s Windfall, The Jayhawks Better Days, Bruce Springsteen’s Back in Your Arms, Marah’s Walt Whitman’s Bridge, Drive-By Truckers’ Outfit, Bruce Springsteen’s Incident on 57th Street. If one looked into my car window during these episodes, I’m pretty sure one would assume I had a severe disorder or am one of those annoying weepy chicks. Maybe I do. Maybe I am.

4) I love the scent of lilacs. If they didn’t die so quickly, I would always have a bouquet of them. When I was in seventh grade, my house in the country was robbed and I was the first person home (which fucked me up for a good ten years.) The next time I went home by myself and walked up to the front door, I thought I heard voices inside so I hid under a lilac bush in our yard for over an hour, waiting for my dad to come home. Turns out the voices were just NPR turned way up. I still really love the scent of lilacs.

3) If I’m focusing on something really deeply, I will stick my tongue out a little bit and rest it on my upper lip. I’ve done it my entire life. When I took dance class in elementary school, the teacher used to have to go down the line and tell everyone to smile, except me. She had to constantly tell me to stick my tongue back in my mouth.

2) I am HARDCORE obsessed with wiener dogs but I do not nor have I ever owned one. Someday. Someday Frankie (named after a Bruce song, naturally) will be mine. Until then, I’ll just have to make due with my two wiener dog posters, four wiener dog figurines, one wiener dog pencil pouch, two different sets of wiener dog salt & pepper shakers, one wiener dog wallet, six wiener dog magnets, one unopened Jones Soda with a wiener dog label, two wiener dog t-shirts, one wiener dog cookie cutter, three wiener dog books, one wiener dog picture frame, and three wiener dog stuffed animals.

1) I AM A MOTHERFUCKIN’ KARAOKE MASTER!



And by “master, “ I mean "banshee" of course. Important points to make note of:

1) I was stone sober.
2) Though I drank six cups of water before this performance, I had completely lost my voice after this due much in part to the fact that I had already wailed along to Because the Night and Like a Prayer.
3) Due much in part to the fact that I drank six cups of water before that performance, I peed my pants a little during that performance. Just a little, though. Also, food from dinner came up into my mouth. I didn’t gag, so it wasn’t like I threw up. It was like this little chunk of tortilla that was lodged deep in my throat decided to make its way back up. I actually held it in my hand for a moment to make sure it wasn’t a tooth.
4) I never EVER get that 1 2 3 4 part right during the song!!!!
5) I have no idea who that woman in white is who spanked my ass.

God I love the U Otter Stop Inn.

“You were born to sing that song” quoteth the punky MC guy.
“You all are why I have this job” quoteth the punky MC guy.
“You all need to come back every week" quoteth the punky MC guy.

TRAMPS LIKE US…













Am I…

a) Singing Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run” for karaoke?

Or

b) Giving your dad a b.j.?








Hmmmm...t'is the question of the century. Indeed.

TRAMPS LIKE US, BABY WE WERE BORN TO RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!