I have been robbed.

Tonight I had parked my car in Cedar Riverside to go hang out with friends at the Nomad. An hour and a half later, I walked back to the lot. It was 12:30am.

Brucie the Honda was broken into. And they stole my laptop.

I have not ever backed up my computer (but, ironically, was going to when I got the external hard drive for my birthday in a week and a half.)

I have lost every picture I have ever taken with either of my digital cameras(that are not online...about 1600 out of 15000 are online) or everything I have ever written in highschool, college & since (that, again, are not online...papers, essays, rambles...so much is gone.) Luckily, most of the written documents actually have been printed off.

All my Spain pictures from last summer are gone. Pictures of my family and friends and concerts and holidays from the past few years are gone.

Anyway, this is bad and I feel really sick about this.

Tonight, I blamed myself for this robbery, for not burning the pictures onto CDs like I said I would, and probably will continue blaming myself for awhile even though I know this is not my fault. I know all the things I shouldn't have done...and being lectured by the cop didn't help that...I'm not naive or stupid and I won't beat myself up about it. Anything anyone could say to me to try to teach me some lesson is only a fraction of the beating I have mentally given myself.

But I would like to thank the people that were with me when I walked to my car tonight and helped me calm down. Drove me to their apartments when I was supposed to drop them off. Offered to hold my snot filled hand. And they quoted song lyrics to me that made me feel better (something about burning all your belongings twice becausue you are restarting your life, once because you want to and once because you have to.) They helped me to realize that I can rebuild this...this can be a new beginning for me.

Anway, back up everything on your computer that is important to you. And be really careful about what you leave in your car.

And yes I did file a police report with the serial number of the computer. And I called my credit card and bank account because statements were in that bag.

My faith in people is pretty low right now. But it was just stuff, I know that, and I am okay. My friends are okay. My car is okay (though it is not even worth as much as my computer.) I have my camera still (I had to remind myself over and over again that it wasn't in that bag with my computer) and like my mom said when I called her sobbing at 2am, they did not take my own memories and my future.

Anyway...I will not be online as much because I don't have a computer any more (which will be remedied in due time.) I'm typing on my roommate Jim's computer right now. Usually his neverending boy stories drive me insane but, tonight, his ramblings are comforting. Life really does go on. I was in a really good mood this past week because I feel like I am at a huge transition. That is not going away.

Major Springsteen and wiener dog happy thoughts need to be sent my way.

Though my first impulse was to drive all the way back to Missouri tonight, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. This all may sound extreme but that's me. Especially right now. And no one took my all crazy like, dramatic talk away from me.

See you all when I see you,
Alexa