The Song that is in Your Heart, Young Hedgehog

When I was a little girl, we were only allowed to watch one hour of television a day. And my mom never bought us video games. Though we begged, she never counted it as a priority gift. Instead Christmas and birthdays were spent rounding out my Kirsten the American Doll collection. I know I am a better person for it today but DAMN IT ALL I JUST WANTED TO PLAY MY VIDEO GAMES!

The neighbor girl, Beth, had two older brothers and they had an Atari. That was badass. Except two teenage guys don't really want to play with their kid sister and her strange neighbor friend, so we only got to play Pong a few times a month. In middle school, I become friends with Jill and she had a Nintendo. Ever weekend, after we would read the dirty passages from her mom's romance novels that Jill had bookmarked during the week, we would spend hours in front of the tv with Super Mario Bros 2 & 3, beating and blowing into the box whenever it would freeze up. I was ALWAYS the Princess. And I kicked ass. Finally, while I was in junior high, my sister, who had a very financially giving godfather, bought a Sega Gamegear. We owned Echo the Dolphin, Ren & Stimpy and, most importantly, Sonic the Hedgehog. While watching the melodramatic misadventures of Dawson and Ally McBeal, I, as a spiky blue cartoon character, would roll up into a little ball to knock the shit out of my competitors. And I was good. As Sonic the Hedgehog, I was an indestructible force. That was a mighty feeling for my weak and damaged adolescent mind.

Five years later, I became obsessed with Bruce Springsteen.

"But how the hell are those two connected??!?!" you might ask. Well...like you, I would have thought it impossible...until I was YouTubing Bruce Springsteen last night and came upon this fucked up, extraordinarily insane yet WONDERFUL discovery....



HOLY
FUCKING
GOD

I cannot BELIEVE that exists!

What's even more odd is the Bruce song of choice and the YouTube description by the creator:

"This is the fourth music video I made. When I first heard Bruce Springsteen's new song, "The Rising," I knew that would be a song perfect for the Sonic Underground to sing on the episode "Beginnings." "

Uhhhhhhhhhhh...okay...not really "perfect," Mr. Perreault. Maybe pixelly orgasmic, but not really perfect. Because Bruce is an odd choice to begin with, and short of any acoustic song, I think maybe The Rising, a song about coming together as a nation after a catastrophe, is one of the oddest choices he could have made.

Though after typing that sentence, I realize maybe it was a perfect Bruce song to use.

And I did get choked up a tiny TINY bit. Naturally.

Mr. Perreault, you are my new god.

I've never wanted to bone a heroic little cartoon character so much as when he opens his mouth and Bruce Springsteen's voice comes out. When Sonic rolls up like hedgehogs are wont to do, it gives a whole new definition to "Blue Balls." Shazaam.