Teach me, Sensei Swine

It's been a really long time since I've had an art class (unless you count scenic painting, my doodles in intro to bio during college & that time I widdled a diorama of "The Story of O" out of oak...which, I probably would) and an even longer time since I've had a 2D art class (drawing in 10th grade, sculpture after that.) Two weeks ago, I started a community ed class titled "Photography 101: SLR."

I am learning the much needed basics of vocab (ISO, apeture, shutter speed, white balance, filter, labia majora, Prince Albert, muskrat) and how to apply those basics to "tell a story" with a picture (get postcard quality photos) as opposed to just take a snapshot.

Most importantly, I learned that, when deciding what to set all the features to, one must first consider "depth of field."

If I was ever taught "depth of field," it never stuck. UNTIL I STARTED MY PHOTOGRAPHY SLR CLASS THAT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight, after I white-knuckle drove it home (sidenote: NOTHING better get in my way of seeing Will Hoge and the Bottle Rockets at The Varsity tomorrow...I'll bus it for hours if I have to!!!!! Fuck this weather and another foot of snowfall. I'm so over this season. BRING ON THE GLOBAL WARMING SUMMER!), after I had my obligatory two hours of nightly conversation with my long distance ladies, after I ate my pb&j and drank my carrot juice, I set up one of my many Persian rugs under our main living room spot light and called Cornelius over (my foster child until Brian's adoption papers come through.)

Cyber world meet...

CORNELIUS THE HOMOSEXUAL SWINE






SAY CHEESE, CORNY!

Depth of Field! I understand its importance! I get how to control it on my camera (mostly!) Cornelius (and, I guess, my SLR teacher Glen) really help me to further understand the madness that is the AV mode on my Canon Rebel!

In other news, I think I found Forrest Whitaker's long lost twin brother.




Goodnight sweet King of Scotland, may flights of angelically gay swines sing thee to thy rest.